You may recall I had an experinece the other day when I was unable to move out of the way of 2 black gentlemen who were walking on the pavement. Quite rightly I was nearly attacked.
Well - it appears I have not learnt my lesson.
Today, after dropping Mrs Pym and 2 of my pimples off at the church (I am not a believer), my son and I were walking to tescos to pick up some supplies. We live in one of those ethnic diverse areas - you know - the kind that is so diverse that ours does not live there.
Anyway - son was talking, and I was listening (stupid of me i know), and consequently I did not see a black lady with her son - quite rightly she forced me to move, glared at me and sucked her teeth. I was let off lightly - I should have been stabbed.
I have reported myself to the Police - but because they are all racists they told me to go away or they would arrest me for wasting their time (that bit about the police I just made up).
A little further on a black guy asked me for a pound - I told him to stick it up his pipe, and he nicely told me to go forth and multiply, I guess he had not seen junior. Mind you he did instruct me to multiply with myself, so maybe he had.
This is twice now in the space of a few weeks that I have not been able to move out of the way for black people - may I take this opportunity of apologising to all black and other ethnic people -
I am sorry I was born in this country
I am sorry I am white
I am sorry I have feelings
I am sorry I can not always put you first
I am sorry I believe in fairness and equality and law
I am sorry - but not guilty.
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